No Really...It's an Inside Job
It goes something like this…You have a bad experience with someone, and in reflection decide that either they were not on the same page, that they weren’t an “energetic match,” or that they were out of integrity. On top of it, you judge yourself for once again not following your intuition. Maybe you try to learn a lesson from it while having that bad taste in your mouth, probably resolving to do it very differently next time, and to listen more to your intuition. But do you notice that some of these experiences actually do get repeated in some form or another?
These are patterns, and they have deeper roots than our surface discomforts and resolutions. They compete with our mental intentions to have a good experience. Herein lies our opportunity for a greater integrity.
These patterns and experiences correspond to a part inside of us that needs attention. We have unresolved material but judge or blame the other person’s behavior as out of integrity with our own, a mismatch. It’s important to remember that there are many vibrational levels going on at the same time. And in my experience there is always a corresponding and collaborative level operating between us and the other that is actually feeding the very experience we don’t want, and creating repetitive patterns.
Underneath the conflict lie layers of awareness, or vibration, from the gross to the subtle. One layer is nonliteral interpretation and perception, tracking back almost always to an early age. The part of us that is reacting and responding to what is uncomfortable about the other person is actually being triggered by an aspect of ourselves that IS a match, alongside other more mature parts of us that are making better choices. Again, subtle. For example, when we react to someone’s anger, it doesn’t necessarily mean we are angry. It could also mean that a part of us that self-sacrifices is triggering their anger, but we are on the wheel of suffering with them in our corresponding pattern. When we get in touch with the part that is actually matching that unhealthy vibration, bring awareness to it and reframe that part, we unlock a new way of being, making better decisions about who and what we stand for and will interact with. Beyond that, we can even activate the part of us that is clear and vibrationally “clean” to call forth the part of the other that wants to collaborate with deeper integrity. Like an alchemy, we introduce new thought and clarity into the mix that creates a different kind of dynamic between us and other.
To be in our deepest Integrity, and take Responsibility, we must become aware of the parts of ourselves that are in fact collaborating with others even in ways we don’t want, even on the more subtle levels. By uncovering these hidden and disowned parts, the dynamics with others begins to make sense, and a freedom arises when we realize that we have choices, that distorted interpretations from past experiences don’t need to control us, and we can choose the path we want. Our conflicts with others can uncover potent opportunities to take ourselves to a higher octave of being. In this place, we experience less drama, more harmony, more love and compassion for ourselves and others.
To learn tools of cultivating a deeper integrity, please browse this website or contact me to start an Innertegrity session series.
Take good care, Melanie
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#communication #selfawarenss #unconsciouspatterns #relationship