I woke up this morning with a tremendous feeling about the struggle of life, meaning the struggle we add to our life, trying to make something of it, trying to make it happen. And one thing I know, that I have experienced many times, that came rushing back to me in this pondering, is that this clenched, closed-fisted and tense need for control is the very valve that shuts off the flow of our true and natural life expression. And that natural flow is the place, my friends, where we feel most alive, most present, and most engaged in a life that we love. It is a place that builds upon itself organically, as we stay present to it. And it’s closer than you think.
Paradoxically, this projecting of our energy into controlling our life and trying so hard to be successful shuts us off from the very quality of life that we want. Because at the end of the day, the most satisfying experience is how we feel. If you just baked the most delicious chocolate cake you’ve ever tasted—if you’re into this sort of thing—you will feel giddy with pleasure and satisfaction, yes? If you worked 24/7 to land a lucrative real estate deal and have driven someone into bankruptcy over it, you now have that fine building to call your own and are much richer in the bank for it, but how do you actually feel? You see, society is more and more focused on landing the deal rather than the quality, the sustainability, and sweetness of life and how that feels. If everyone were to start with these qualities as the intention, these desired feelings that bring out the sweetness, that make our hearts swell with joy, our whole decision-making apparatus would work differently. The valve would be open. Imagine a world like this!
When the valve is open, when we are living from a quality that makes us really happy, we are flowing continuously into the next expression, naturally.
I think of icons like Albert Einstein who said, “Everything is energy and that’s all there is to it. Match the frequency of the reality you want and you cannot help but get that reality. It can be no other way. This is not philosophy. This is physics.” In other words, live the feeling you want to feel. As an elderly gentleman I know likes to say, “Feel the feels.”
Henry Ford was known for continuing to expand on his fascination for learning and tinkering with things from childhood, even when he knew little about them, and built an empire around that passion. He just kept going, and kept knowing that his vision was worthy. The story goes that when he was 13 he got a pocket watch and immediately took it apart to see how it worked. His whole life lived on this trajectory. And he wanted Americans to experience the vision too. His simple quote, “If you think you can do a thing or think you can’t do a thing, you’re right,” is not just about success but about a fundamental attitude to living a quality of life of our choosing.
Truly, the folks we most deeply admire, though some of them may be wealthy or famous, will likely say that money was absolutely not their goal. In fact, early on they didn’t even expect any money to come from their endeavors. They were just following their passion and staying engaged, letting it take them on a journey for the love of it. Frances Mayes and Elizabeth Gilbert, two authors I really enjoy and respect, both felt this way. And their writings both went on to shocking success, the last thing they expected.
So I guess the bottom line here is, don’t wait to do the things you really really love. Okay? Start today. As the beloved poet Mary Oliver wrote in her poem Wild Geese, “…You only have to let the soft animal of your body love what it loves.”
Because I have spent my life engaging in things that I love, and letting go of that which keeps me from feeling the way I want to feel, I am uniquely prepared to help you on your journey. Do you need help feeling the feels? I can help you. Contact me at melanie@innertegrity.com to explore, and visit my website www.innertegrity.com/sessions to be supported on your journey.
Warmly, Melanie